The Landlord: [Simultaneously knocking and opening the door] Well, there you are. I was starting to wonder. You do know you haven’t said a word in here since March 13?
Myself: I do.
The Landlord: Well you know we can’t be having this. You can’t be in here with the lights turned on doing nothing.
Myself: Is there a piper to be paid in this somewhere?
The Landlord: There is. If you want to keep this room you have better deliver some eyeballs or you will find yourself out of the street pronto. This is not a charity we are running here. Do you catch my drift?
Myself: I do. Your drift is clear. I will see what I can do.
The Landlord: Do. And be quick about it!
Myself: Right. Well. How about this bit of news? On May 31st as part of their celebration of the ongoing Short Story Month, the lovely folk over at Akashic Books will be posting a short story of mine here or hereabouts http://www.akashicbooks.com/category/short-story-month/
The Landlord: That it? Well you better rustle up some eyeballs ‘cos I’ll be watching the stats. No eyeballs, no room. You’ll be out on yer ear. Do you hear me? [Exit leaving door to bareboard landing ajar]
Myself: I do. [Front] Right so, you heard the man. Send your friends’ eyeball here or I’ll be sharing an attic room with some model boat enthusiasts on blogspot or something.