The landlord: [Simultaneously knocking and opening the door] I’ve come about them eyeballs.
Myself: Oh, there you are! Sure I left them out on the landing for you on Friday.
The landlord: Friday? Friday? What would you be doing that for? Sure wasn’t I away in Thurles on Friday!
Myself: I told you they wre coming on Friday! Well there were eyeballs galore on Friday.
The landlord: There were, were there?
Myself: There were sure the story was up and all on the internet and twitterverse and all sorts.
The landlord: Where? Show me.
Myself: Sure look at here:
The landlord: Is that it?
Myself: It is.
The landlord: I prefer historical romance.
Myself: You surprise me.
The landlord: Don’t get smart with me, me bucko. Right then, we are all square for June then but don’t you fall behind again. [Exit leaving door ajar bhind him]
Myself: [sotto voce] Were ye born in a barn or a hospital with swinging doors, ye ignorant muck savage?